FLAME WITHIN
12 MONTHS TOWARDS HEALTHY SEXUALITY
Flame Within is a year of sexual health and aliveness for men, building a healthy, integrated understanding of sexuality: not just sexual behavior, but identity, emotional maturity, relationships, and physical health.
Sex and spirituality are linked; both express a yearning for wholeness.
Conversations about Healthy Sexuality with Dr. Karen Strange 🎙️
THE MAP FOR OUR YEAR TOGETHER 🗺️
FEBRUARY: A GOOD BEGINNING
▶️ We connect and resource one another for a year of sexual health and aliveness.
MARCH: THE SEXUAL STORY
▶️ We examine when, where, and how our sexual beliefs and practices were shaped.
APRIL: MESSAGES
▶️ We explore harmful myths and shame, and healthy stories about sexuality
MAY: THE BODY
▶️ We appreciate and care for our bodies as we navigate aging, pleasure, and nutrition.
JUNE: DESIRE
▶️ We delve into intimacy, love, arousal, and how mental health impacts sexual desire.
JULY: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
▶️ We connect the dots between emotion and sex as we develop regulation skills.
AUGUST: COMMUNICATION
▶️ We practice honesty, boundaries, and respectful relationship skills.
SEPTEMBER: ATTACHMENT
▶️ We understand attachment styles, intimacy, conflict, and trust.
OCTOBER: INTEGRITY & VALUES
▶️ We clarify values and explore fidelity, forgiveness, and responsibility.
NOVEMBER: HEALING
▶️ We address shame, betrayal, guilt, and the recovery of our essential sexual self.
DECEMBER: THE LIFESPAN
▶️ How do we maintain lifelong sexual wellness?
JANUARY: HARVEST
▶️ We pause to harvest what the year has taught us and consider next steps.
MEET YOUR COMPANIONS
Matthew Ray Lyda has been guiding men towards sexual vitality and integrity for over a decade.
He is a certified Spiritual Director, Author, Retreat Leader, PSAP (Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional), RAE, husband of one, father of three, lover of lands, and pickleball player.
He has lived in Bangladesh and India and is trained by IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals) and Oasis Ministries.
Matthew also serves as an initiator in Men's Rites of Passage work worldwide.
Kevin Barwick is a retired professional counselor.
THIS EXPERIENCE IS FOR YOU IF…
⭐ You want a healthy, integrated understanding of your sexuality. Not just sexual behavior, but identity, emotional maturity, relationships, and physical health.
⭐ You want to understand how your sexual history has shaped your present.
⭐ You want to distinguish healthy desire from unhealthy or compulsive patterns.
⭐ You're ready to talk honestly about your body, desire, and intimacy in a confidential circle of men.
⭐ You are partnered, single, or living a vocationally chosen celibacy. Every path is welcome here.
WHY THIS WORKS…
⭐ A year, not a weekend. The journey moves from awareness → understanding → healing → healthy relationships → lifelong growth.
⭐ The sexual and the spiritual are linked. Both are expressing a yearning for wholeness.
⭐ Taking the time to feel. Sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell in the everyday. We learn to appreciate and care for the body.
⭐ The same architecture as Sober Initiation and Recovery Monastery.
⭐ "I heard a man…" Small groups where men speak honestly and listen deeply, in a confidential setting.
A conversation with Dr. Doug Shirley
Curious?
Schedule a free 20-minute call.
WHEN WILL WE GATHER?
Fourth Monday of the month / 7:30-9:00 pm Eastern
February 2027 - January 2028
Note: No live gatherings in July or December, but there will be teachings and coursework.
What men are saying about Recover The Wild ⬇️
“My wife told me, “You have your spark back.”
“I’m beginning to be satisfied with the small things.”
“Not everything that is faced can be changed.
But nothing can be changed until it is faced”
James Baldwin
Choose your tuition
Note: There are no refunds available for this program
In need of financial assistance? Reach out to matthew@recoverthewild.com
We are committed to ensuring finances aren't a barrier to this essential conversation.
FAQs
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No. This is a year of sexual health and aliveness for any man. We learn to distinguish healthy desire from unhealthy or compulsive patterns, and desire is examined honestly.
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You share what you choose. We establish confidentiality and boundaries from our first gathering.
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Yes. There is room here for men living vocationally chosen celibacy as well as men in committed partnerships…and every man in between.
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No. It is a circle of men learning and growing together. We encourage seeking professional help when appropriate.
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We begin with a check-in, grounding, and focus, and a reminder of confidentiality. Then we move to teaching, discussion, small-group time, and reflective sharing.
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A personal vision for sexual health, relationships, physical health, and future goals for sexual wellness.
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Flame Within is built on the same architecture as the 12 Steps and 12 Principles, and is influenced by Dr. Patrick Carnes’ 12 Dimensions of Healthy Sexuality.
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The fourth Monday of the month, 7:30-9:00 pm Eastern. There will be no live gatherings in July and December, but there will be teachings and coursework.