A PROGRAM FOR HEALTHY SEXUALITY
Flame Within is a year of sexual health and aliveness for men, building a robust, integrated understanding of sexuality: not just sexual behavior, but identity, emotional maturity, relationships, and physical health.
Sex and spirituality are linked; both express a yearning for wholeness.
Conversations about Healthy Sexuality with Dr. Karen Strange đī¸
THE MAP FOR OUR YEAR TOGETHER đēī¸
FEBRUARY: A GOOD BEGINNING
âļī¸ We connect and resource one another for a year of sexual health and aliveness.
MARCH: THE STORY
âļī¸ We examine when, where, and how our beliefs and practices were shaped.
APRIL: MESSAGES
âļī¸ We explore harmful myths and shame, and healthy stories about sexuality
MAY: THE BODY
âļī¸ We appreciate and care for our bodies as we navigate aging, pleasure, and nutrition.
JUNE: DESIRE
âļī¸ We delve into intimacy, love, arousal, and how mental health impacts sexual desire.
JULY: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
âļī¸ We connect the dots between emotion and sex as we develop regulation skills.
AUGUST: COMMUNICATION
âļī¸ We practice honesty, boundaries, and respectful relationship skills.
SEPTEMBER: ATTACHMENT
âļī¸ We understand attachment styles, intimacy, conflict, and trust.
OCTOBER: INTEGRITY & VALUES
âļī¸ We clarify values and explore fidelity, forgiveness, and responsibility.
NOVEMBER: HEALING
âļī¸ We address shame, betrayal, guilt, and the recovery of our essential sexual self.
DECEMBER: THE LIFESPAN
âļī¸ How do we maintain lifelong sexual wellness?
JANUARY: HARVEST
âļī¸ We pause to harvest what the year has taught us and consider next steps.
MEET YOUR COMPANIONS
Matthew Ray Lyda has guided men toward sexual vitality and integrity for over a decade.
He is a certified Spiritual Director, Author, Retreat Leader, PSAP (Pastoral Sex Addiction Professional), RAE, husband of one, father of three, lover of lands.
He has lived in Bangladesh and India and is trained by IITAP (International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals) and Oasis Ministries.
Matthew also serves by facilitating ritual work in Illuman MROPs and EROPs.
Kevin Barwick, living in the Washington, DC, area, is an Enneagram Coach, Spiritual Director, Illuman ECC Convener, and retired professional therapist.
He specialized in personal trauma, relationship development, and addictions.
THIS EXPERIENCE IS FOR YOU IFâĻ
â You want a healthy, integrated understanding of your sexuality. Not just sexual behavior, but identity, emotional maturity, relationships, and physical health.
â You want to understand how your sexual history has shaped your present.
â You want to distinguish healthy desire from unhealthy or compulsive patterns.
â You're ready to talk honestly about your body, desire, and intimacy in a confidential circle of men.
â You are partnered, single, or living a vocationally chosen celibacy. Every path is welcome here.
WHY THIS WORKSâĻ
â A year, not a weekend. The journey moves from awareness â understanding â healing â healthy relationships â lifelong growth.
â The sexual and the spiritual are linked. Both are expressing a yearning for wholeness.
â Taking the time to feel. Sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell in the everyday. We learn to appreciate and care for the body.
â The same architecture as Sober Initiation and Recovery Monastery.
â "I heard a manâĻ" Small groups where men speak honestly and listen deeply, in a confidential setting.
GAINS FROM FLAMEâĻ
đ Awareness of what shaped your sexual mindset.
đ A new way to celebrate your strength and vitality.
đ Develop a new relationship between yourself and others.
đ Claim greater confidence in your integrity.
đ Growing healing of sexual wounds.
Curious?
Schedule a free 20-minute call.
WHEN WILL WE GATHER?â â
Fourth Monday of the month / 7:30-9:00 pm Eastern
February 2027 - January 2028
What men are saying about Recover The Wild âŦī¸
âMy wife told me, âYou have your spark back.â
âIâm beginning to be satisfied with the small things.â
âNot everything that is faced can be changed.
But nothing can be changed until it is facedâ
James Baldwin
Choose your tuition
Note: There are no refunds available for this program
In need of financial assistance? Reach out to matthew@recoverthewild.com
We are committed to ensuring finances aren't a barrier to this essential conversation.
A conversation with Dr. Doug Shirley
FAQs
-
No. This is a year of sexual health and aliveness for any man. We learn to distinguish healthy desire from unhealthy or compulsive patterns, and desire is examined honestly.
-
You share what you choose. We establish confidentiality and boundaries from our first gathering.
-
Yes. There is room here for men living vocationally chosen celibacy as well as men in committed partnershipsâĻand every man in between.
-
No. It is a circle of men learning and growing together. We encourage seeking professional help when appropriate.
-
We begin with a check-in, grounding, focus, and a reminder of confidentiality. Then we move to teaching and reflective sharing. Additionally there are mid-month connections, calls, and fieldwork to complete.
-
A personal vision for sexual health, relationships, physical health, and future goals for sexual wellness.
-
Flame Within is built on the same architecture as the 12 Steps and 12 Principles, and is influenced by Dr. Patrick Carnesâ 12 Dimensions of Healthy Sexuality.
-
The fourth Monday of the month, 7:30-9:00 pm Eastern. There will be no live gatherings in July and December, but there will be teachings and coursework.